Anita Oyakhilome, the frustrted wife ofNigeria’s most flamboyant preacher, Chris Oyakhilome has obviously passedthrough 15 years of adulterous endurance and what she needs is our prayers andprotective respect and defense of her choices to forget all the anti-rhapsodyof heartbreak she endured all these years.
Fifteen(15) years of being abandoned by a preacher husband is not an easy way of lifefor a preacher’s wife. Fifteen (15) years of hearing that some mini skirteddaughters of Jezebel have taken over your possession is not a joke. Fifteenyears of a husband not staying with the wife for up to a week on a stretch,while spending time with some double breasted figure eight(ed) daughters of eveis not an easy thing to swallow. 15 years of being used as a showcase to makechurch members believe in Rhapsodies of Blissful Union, while dying in silence,is not a palatable experience for any woman.
Fifteenyears of being called Mama, Mummy, and other glorified names of Senior Pastor’swife while some domestic harems sneer at the same Mummy behind is not a sweetexperience. For goodness sake, this woman never probably had a good kiss infifteen years and yet she is being accused of carnality for crying out loud.She was continually being led into temptation of seeking for sexualsatisfaction from outside for fifteen years and she managed to escape the trapsof sin.
Fifteen years when their two lovely daughters would wake up and ask theirmother why Dad had not cared to visit, and she would have to release a lie tostave off the frequent probing questions. Above all, fifteen years when Anitahad to fake that all is well with their marriage, while she is actually dyingemotionally. Every person she complained to among the pastoral cadre sided withthe man, and she was left alone to bear her cross.
Iwarned some pastor friends with Christ Embassy early 2013 that they had bettersettle this marriage rift between Oga and his wife before it destroys thechurch. The same pastors have called me to express regret that a nationalembarrassment has ensued.
Thiswoman has been called Jezebel by some pastors and members of the church. Someclaimed she was disrespectful while others claimed she was always bitter of recent.They have tried to castigate her before members of the church who came inprivate to ask for the way out. She was described as unreasonable andinsubordinate.
Herhusband, according to news reports has even followed to cast her in bad light.According to Pastor Chris Oyakhilome, “Bitterness is prolonged and accumulatedanger. My wife is always angry and bitter,” Going further he told his membersto “Be careful of the friends you keep. My wife keeps friends who bring out theworst in her and help her see the worst in people, instead of keeping friendsthat will help her vision, especially as the wife of a global pastor like me.”
Please,which preacher woman who has been abandoned for fifteen years will not bebitter and angry? Was Anita expected to clap and dance while some hot legs areparading around the White House?
Thispastor’s wife was also disclaimed by her husband who told his congregants inreaction to the divorce saga that Anita is not necessarily a Woman of God.According to Pastor Oyakhilome “Don’t act like those people. If you are marriedto a man of God, it doesn’t make you automatically mature. You can makemistakes; you can do something that is wrong. But some people expect the wifeof a minister to definitely be at the level of that minister and so they may belooked upon and the expectation may be like that, but it’s a positional thing”.He clarified his theory by saying that “If a man of God is married, it doesn’tautomatically mean that the wife of a man of God is therefore a woman of God.That’s not the way it is in the Bible.” Pastor Chris also added that “That’swhy you don’t really find the wives of men of God mentioned in the Bible. Howmany of them? Who was Peter’s wife, did you ever know her name? You never findthat out.
Who was John’s wife? Did you ever read the name? What about all theother Apostles? How many of their names are written in the Bible. You neverfind their names.”
AnitaOyakhilome actually proved that she has fear of God in the manner she wordedher divorce plea. She opted to use the word “inappropriate relationship withfemale staff members” instead of out rightly accusing her husband of adultery.According to the statement, “the wife has discussed with the husband hisappropriate relationship with some of his female staff members. She hasexplained that this has given her cause for concern. The husband has minimisedher worries and taken no step to alleviate her grievances.”
AnitaOyakhilome could have said that her husband abandoned her and ran into the armsof sister A or B, or gospel singer C or D and left her roasting and murmuringin the house. Anita could have said that her husband is a hypocrite who says athing and means another, but she veiled her grievances of years of abandonmentby saying in the divorce file that “The wife feels that she has been used toportray and enhance the husband’s image as a family man when the reality isthat there is no existing relationship between them. She feels that she hasbeen present for official functions simply for his convenience. On occasionsshe has been copied into his travel itinerary which has been given to him byhis staff on a need to know basis”. “The wife has tried to discuss her concernswith the husband. He claims that she is carnal and he is insensitive to herfeelings and her needs.”
ThusAnita had acted with much restraint in order to preserve the integrity ofChrist Embassy and the work of evangelism, and all she got for her discretionwas hate messages from many sections of church members who wanted her tosacrifice her marriage to keep them in a rhapsody of deceit.
This woman, according to the testimony of many British residents whom I spoke to and claimed they attendtheir church, is one person who is always willing to give gifts to the needy.She is ever ready to counsel people and does not breed class. She is a patientlistener who laboriously introduced many things in the church for which theglory goes to her husband. Londoners believe that she is not that demon theywant to portray her as. Those who know her closely have attested to anaffectionate good naturedness and stickler for details. She was said to have lived a life of cautious display of affluence and rather preferred to build people and give to the less privileged, a course that did not go down well with some of their pastors in the UK. She also frowned at promiscuity among ministers of the gospel and some randy pastors in UK did not like what they called her ‘judgmental interference’
Whatsoeverthing some misguided church members want to think, Anita had lived a lie formany years. Anita was said to have became born again at believers Loveworldcampus fellowship at Ambrose Alli University Ekpoma, while Chris was thepastor. She had probably paid her dues as a Christian and knows what it is todeceive the congregation. She cannot deceive herself and the church anymorethus she opted for divorce. Divorce, according to scripture is unbiblical, butbetween deceiving a congregation that already knows the truth but pretendsotherwise and staying in unfulfilled marriage, which is better. It is a matterbetween her and her conscience.
Lastyear, a Nigerian personality blogger by name Ese Walter was lured by her SeniorPastor in Abuja into a cozy hotel bed space in London and after two weeks ofadultery, the man cleaned up, returned to Nigeria and told his congregation toshout some Hallelujah. The sin partner was arrested by the Holy Spirit and shesought a meeting with the COZA Chief to resolve the burden of guilt. She wascontinually shunned and described as agent of satan even by other seniorpastors in the church until she turned the internet into the confessional. EseWalter freed her conscience and probably escaped eternal damnation but theentire Christendom took the brunt of the exposure.
PopeBenedict made several attempts to stop the incidences of homosexual pedophilesamong priest and leaders in the Vatican. His attempts were rebuffed by a cabalof officials who resisted probe and pious change. In exasperation, the Pontiffabandoned the Papacy and triggered the change that is being forced down on theresisting cabal. Pope Benedict freed his conscience and left with clean recordsbefore his God.
Anitahas chosen to free herself from a life of deceit and lies. The truth had sether free. However, I still counsel her that if the misbehaving preacher husbanddemonstrates a verifiable change of heart, she should consider him back and sothat somebody can shout some more Hallelujah. Fifteen years of adulterousendurance in the midst of charismatic rhapsody is not easy and Anita Oyakhilomesure needs all the defense and understanding she can get- Let somebody shout a better Hallelujah !
Obinna Akukwe firstname.lastname@example.org