After the funeral of our Mother in May, my brother Ikenna Chidoka called me one morning with what I considered a strange message. We are owed the Landlord’s association in the estate where our parents live in Ikeja. I was surprised and angry. Why would she owe the quarterly dues when she got money from us regularly to pay?
I was angry because she always needed money, and I nicknamed her agbara na ata ego (the deity that feeds on cash). I always wondered what she did with her money as I saw no luxury items around her. Whenever she said “Osi boy,” I knew it was another request. Hon. Obinna Chidoka and Sam Okwy Chidoka were her mugus. She knows how to press their mumu buttons. Ikenna and Ada Chidoka Egbon can’t say no to her. She was a force of nature both in her generosity and demands.
Back to the dues, I asked Ikenna to find out how much she owed the estate. He came back and said, “Mummy was paying for two houses. One of their neighbours lost her husband and fell on hard times, and she took over the paying of her estate dues for years now. So we owe for the two houses, and it was for the period she was ill.”
My anger dissolved into shame. Mama Osi was paying the neighbour’s estate dues and supporting her. So, we agreed to continue the payment.
Since her passing, I have received numerous requests from relatives. Some said she paid their rent. Others said she was footing their medical bills, while some asked if I would continue paying their children’s school fees as she was the financier.
As Christmas approached, I received more strident requests for one thing or the other. It then dawned on me that Mama Osi was the buffer between me and many things. My siblings and I have pledged to continue keeping her voluntary obligations.
Now I know why she was Agbara na ata ego. I spent my first Christmas at Obosi without her. There was no noise in the compound. The verve and zest she brought to the compound lay silent in her grave. Her absence was loud.
Now I know why she had traffic to her apartment. Some came wondering if we would continue the tradition and share foodstuffs as she did regularly. Others came to eat, as she served food daily to her network. I did not know the magnitude of her activities.
For me, the most heart-rending is that many did not come. The usual flow from Oraifite, Ozubulu, Ukpor, Ihiala, Ihembosi, and other places was absent. It dawned on me that the bridge was broken.
Mama Osi was indeed the bridge and buffer. Now I know the scope and cost, I marvel at her ability to hold it all together. We can’t seem to replace her for many. We will try.
As I pass her grave daily, I steal a glance and wonder how an individual can make so much difference. The eerie silence of the compound replicates the silence of the grave.
Beyond the obligations and on a happy note, we have intensified her request to support small female-owned businesses. On the 29th of December at Asaga, Ohafia ~ my wife Chidinma Chidoka ‘s village, we distributed small cash envelopes under the Nneka Chidoka Outreach Program to women traders. They were happy.
In 2024, we will scale the programs for cancer awareness and support for small female traders. We would also break the silence in the compound as we will end the mourning in April. Our Obiora festivities in October, the 31st-night party, and the sharing would all return with zest. God on our side, the party would continue after the interlude. Amen.
