The Portrait of A Dubious Anambra Politician – By Ejimonu Udenka

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It is without doubt that the Biblical saying, “Money answereth all things,” was made for the dubious Anambra politician who can literarily tempt God. He brooks no opposition, and once set on his goal, he pursues it with unrestrained zeal and resources deployed to achieve it by hook or crook. He  never looks back even if it is obvious that his mission is flawed by convention and by any law known to man.

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The dubious Anambra politician is a strategist who plans his scheme for every election circle. He does not believe in due process or the guidelines set by the umpire. Rather, he observes the rules in breach, setting out to circumvent laid out conditions and appropriate whatever votes there are for himself even though he never submits to test of popularity with others. He is a pretentious democrat,and bares his autocratic fangs at the slightest excuse because he knows he can never win any independently monitored contest fair and square. 

Money is the least problem for the dubious Anambra politician. Whereas a genuine aspirant starts consultations and networking at the grassroots, he starts early to amass war chest for political jiggery-pokery. He estimates the strength of likely opponents based on presumed financial strength, and can sell properties, borrow from banks or individuals in readiness for inducement of officials rather than an electoral battle.  To actualize his dream he sets out to target and compromise officials who may likely decide his fate. On his books, any umpire from the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) official is fair game. First, he will try to induce those who will deploy the men and resources to the state, and those eventually deployed, to tamper the process in his favour. The case of party apparachik both at the national and state level is pathetic because they are subjected to brazen bazaar of inducements from all interested aspirants such that in the end, the one with the most inducement eventually gets the machinery to perfect a dastardly heist at bogus party primaries. 

The dubious Anambra politician brags about control of ‘structure’ and never thinks about losing, hence he has no plan B, and can never be caught conceding defeat in any contest no matter how free and fair. How can he loose when he was doling out largess to the principal players up to announcement of results? He can never loose because everything gets agreed upon and perfected in advance. If ever the outcome is not in his favor, legal loopholes are readily available to challenge the contest. Worse case scenario, he will create a faction overnight to teach his political associates a lesson.  Afterall, there are many hirelings out there to dare the system and convolute the process. Once the actors are gathered with little inducement, the television camera rolls and media reportage which hides under the guise of giving everyone a hearing, perfects the false impression of crisis within political parties. Thus starts the next phase of legal obfuscation and shopping for injunctions across borders from willing ‘benchers,’ and they are ready to move from Cape to Cairo, even up to the fringes of Niger Republic to get an injunction from a willing stooge.  

The dubious Anambra politician is a curious breed, he never gives up. His desperation is amazing and laughable that he is the only one who sees victory in the face of failure.  In fact, he is very sure of emerging victorious from his fold that he already started working to destabilize the opposition by funding crisis through equally disgruntled losers in other parties. A political observer captures the comical scenario when he observed: ” The dubious Anambra politician is like a child who failed an exam and rather than accept the outcome, decides to create his own class, teachers and regulators because he has the means.”

The dubious desperado gunning for political office in Anambra is hardly concerned about the wishes of the electorate. To him, the electorates are secondary and can always get their fair share of inducement on election day. In the interim, anything is fair in the electoral war of attrition and the last man standing is the man. 

Are you now surprised at the mess out there with multiple frivolous court cases orchestrated by dubious politicians trying to convolute the process and foist crisis in some cases where there is none? Infact some one has argued, “until the courts starts jailing people for ridiculing them with frivolous cases targeted at the electoral process, phantom crisis will persist in political parties.” 

The dubious desperado can fund a lobby to retain antiquated electoral clauses in the Bill, avoid electronic transfer results and any act that promotes transparency.  That is the trade mark of the dubious Anambra politician whose portrait is aptly captioned: “the end justifies the means.”

Contact: ejimonu247@gmail.com

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