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Thursday, March 28, 2024

I love Hearsays – By Prince Charles Dickson

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He’s written some 20 plays thereabout, six novels and half a dozen collection of poems, and Africa’s first nobel laureate. His name is Wole Soyinka!

So sitting down as part of the audience watching the stage performance of Soyinka’s THE LION AND THE JEWEL, at the Alliance Francaise in Jos, Plateau State was a privilege.

As I watched the play, which was performed by the famed Jos Repertory Theatre, I reflected on the themes of the work: Bride Price/Child Bearing/Polygamy and Gender. These were issues interwoven between the conflict of modernity and tradition.

Very interesting play, though I am not talking about Wole Soyinka or the play but a line caught me by one of the characters–“I love hearsays…”

Nigeria is a nation that is hasty with denial; we do not know what the issues are. In the words of Theodore N. Vail, “Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable”. Our problems in Nigeria remain very imaginary.

We live in the land of hearsays, its stranger than fiction–Mr Efosa Idehen, the Head, Compliance, Monitoring and Enforcement of Nigeria Communication Commission (NCC), on Monday said some Subscriber Identity Module (SIM) card registration agents were using the pictures of goats and foodstuff instead of human beings.

I used the above to illustrate the absurdity of Nigeria, before I treat in few paragraphs, Mr. Sanusi, a topic with lot of hearsays.

Sanusi’s suspension on google, on an average 0.28secs gives you 11, 800, 000 entries. You will be shocked a bulk of that is a compendium of opinions, thoughts, and news items, commentaries laced with loads of hearsays.

So did you hearsay that “The FRC report says: It is important that quick and decisive action is taken so that opposition to the Federal Government does not take advantage of the information and use it to attack the government that your Excellency was aware of the lax in CBN and allowed it to stay for political reasons.

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So I hearsay it was the Financial Reporting Council report that was the body under the Sanusi suspension saga.

Did you hearsay that The Nigerian Stock Market turned RED while majority of the global markets closed GREEN, as the NSE All-Share Index declined further by -1.34% to close at 38,295.74bpts, as against -1.47% loss recorded.

Did you hearsay In the Foreign Exchange Market, the naira plunged to a record low against the dollar and the stock exchange fell to the weakest level in three months. The currency traded at N166.25 per dollar by 10:43 a.m. in Lagos, the lowest since at least 1999, according to data compiled by Bloomberg.

In the interbank market, the naira also fell sharply from N162.9 to N170 to the dollar on the back of news of Sanusi’s suspension, but later closed at N163 as a result of the intervention of the central bank.

I hope you hearsay all these was because of Sanusi.

Or did you hearsay that all these is to contribute to shifting the focus of government from the real issue, which is finding the alleged missing NNPC $20 billion oil money

I hope we all recall the Islamic Banking drama, all that hue and cry over the attempt by CBN to introduce 5.000 naira note into circulation by first quarter of 2013 and to redesign the existing N50, N100, N200, N500 and N1000 notes with new security features, while N20, N10 and N5 notes would be changed to coins sparked controversy in the country and was unsuccessful.

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I hearsay all that banks’ change of name, in first quarter of 2012 did little in change Nigeriana, Access Bank Plc and Intercontinental were fused into one entity, Ecobank acquired Oceanic Bank, Spring bank became Enterprise Bank Limited, First City Monument Bank acquired FinBank, Bank PHB became Keystone Bank Limited, Afribank became Mainstreet Bank Limited, Sterling Bank acquired Equitorial Trust Bank while Union Bank of Nigeria is now owned By African Capital Alliance Consortium.

I won’t bore us with the hearsays of Sanusi versus NNPC or the Federal Government versus Sanusi.

I hearsay forensic auditing, suspending Sanusi for financial recklessness is the turn of events, but trust me on this one too, it will all disappear, after a few knocks here and there, we will discover there was just too much drama, no substance.

Its tough separating the the facts from the fiction. But I know as many million Nigerians that whether its $40bn or just $20bn, its no use bothering, the money is gone–Simplista!

The Sanusi era best reminds me of this riddle–

A wife is sleeping in the middle of the night, she suddenly shouts: “Get up quickly my husband is here!”

The man gets up from the bed, jumps out the window, hurts himself and then realizes “Damn, I am the husband!”

Who’s guilty in the situation?

The hearsays will continue, everyone is saint and equally guilty.

The affairs of Nigeria like a baby requiring change of diapers and toys at each cry, remains a hearsay, missing monies, financial recklessness, suspensions, and little progress: but for how long–only time would tell.
with compliments

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